November, 2009

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Keep the wind to your back and the sun on your face…

Saturday, November 28th, 2009

Constancy, stability, a foundation–I think that’s what I yearn for the most.

Ever since I had to move back to Owensboro I’ve found myself in limbo and that is a feeling I downright loathe. Uncertainity, hell, waiting for that matter as well. I’m impatient and quick to respond: choosing to go off gut instinct and feeling versus thought. To paraphrase High Fidelity: I’ve been listening to mmy gut my entire life and frankly, I’ve come to the conclusion that my gut has shit for brains. Yet I still rely and trust it. What else does one have but ones intuition?

I’ve slowly been distancing myself from certain friends. Great people all, but, too much has happened lately. I feel the need to rebuild, a spiritual renaissance if you will–the phoenix rising. Heh, funny, when I was thinking of my opening my own business a few years back I was going to incorporate Phoenix into the name…I don’t want to be here but maybe this where I need to be at this juncture in my life. I’m still single and have no attachments. Save up some money, take a few classes at a time (and ace them) until I get back on the proper path.

I will never quit trying. I will never cease the journey of self-improvement. It’s not in my nature. While I might stray from my path, commit my fair share of mistakes, I will continue to learn from them and improve.

The only way out is through.

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Monday, November 23rd, 2009

SP – Again, Again, Again

it never stops the starting up
the atrophy, the cruel enough
the vision of oblivion, and when it ends it all begins
to start again and then you’re in
so grab my hand should you believe, there’s a destiny

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Fall into the century of supersonic cross…

Friday, November 13th, 2009

I was looking through my old cds and I stumbled across one of my former favorite albums. Daisies of the Galaxy by the eels always takes me back to a simpler time…a more joyful time. Sitting around w/ my brother and his wife. Incense burning, a glass of wine on the table and playing Spite & Malice for hours on end.

Fall is slowly creeping past us and winter is approaching. I’m not ready for it yet. I went out for a drive to a secluded place right outside of town…It’s a spot I go often during this time of year. Quiet, peaceful, just the crisp air and a clear sky above. It’s my go-to place when I want to get away from it all but can’t drive very far.I suppose that is one advantage to winter. Clean air and a clear sky–the stars seem to shine just a little brighter.

On a more positive note I finally got my car back and it looks better than ever. Runs smoothly and nary a dent on it. Although I do miss the sound system in my loaner car.

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weird

Saturday, November 7th, 2009

Last night I had quite the interesting dream. I was in some type of Geology class with my friend Mark. The actual details of the classroom are a bit vague but it was on location in a giant cavern (Think the water cavern from the movie Dune here.) The class was broken off into pairs and given a list for a scavenger hunt with the first team to identify certain rock formations and take pictures won a prize. Mark and I was bored, go figure, and decided to venture further into the cavern and do some exploring.
The entire cavern had an eerie feel to it. For one, I had never seen anything so vast underground. You could take a football stadium, bury it underground and still have enormous amounts of space. Our shadows cast disjointed reflections of ourselves on the walls. The only artifical light source was the school house off in the distance. Primarily we were guided by the  phosphorescent sponges that lined the interior. We had our handlights but were reluctant to use them for fear of being caught so far off course. Eventually we noticed what seemed to be a curvature in the neon glow…pulling at it with our hands it turned out to be a door nearly frozen shut from years of disuse.  With the door shut behind us it was time to turn on the flood lights and try to get an idea just what exactly we stumbled on. Once inside this new room we found a 1940s style ambulance in near perfect condition.

…and then I woke up

Thinking about trying to turn this into a short story. Maybe some long lost ocean liner. not sure

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you can take me to the moon just take me for a ride

Monday, November 2nd, 2009

Fall, myself and vehicles haven’t gotten along since…before 2006

1.) Oct 2006 – Rear ended at red light. Destroyed my brakes
2.) Nov 2007 – Rear ended at red light. Totaled my Cavalier
3.) Oct 2008 – Rear ended at stop sign. (Seeing a pattern?) New bumper.
4.) Oct 2009 – hit a deer

Good news–so far. After the preliminary estimate it doesn’t look like my car is totaled. It just needs a new hood, radiator, both complete sets of front lights, left fender, bumper, a front end alignment and my ABS is fried.

Deer did a bit of work, no? The good news is they actually have me a nice loaner car–it’s better than my Cavalier. Maybe this one won’t almost crash me into a gas pump like the other one.

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It’s like rain on your wedding day…

Sunday, November 1st, 2009

I came in Owensboro to hang out with a couple of friends for the weekend. I had a bit too much fun Friday night and decided to stay in Saturday and relax. They were all dressed up for a Halloween party and I offered to be the DD. After dropping them off at the bar I was driving back to the house only to hit a deer. I need a new hood, lights, ABS system and maybe a bumper. Because of the brakes I’m stuck in town for another night and hoping I get a loaner car tomorrow.

…it sucks but I really had to laugh. Maybe I should have went in the bar and had a beer after all!

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